10. Day

10 – Your dream wedding.


I never was much into the wedding thing ...

and I never was one of the girls who exactly knew how they wanna marry ...

cause I never thought of myself as a futur wife ...

I think my problem is, that I cant trust anyone so much,

that I can consider to marry him.

Some people dont make a big deal out of marrying ...

something like 

"why should I worry if its not the right thing I can still divorce and maybe marry another time"

and I think it is a big deal!!!

If I marry someday I will be 100 % sure 

that this is the right guy and thing for me ...

and that I will never love someone as much as I may love him.

And that didnt happen till now ...

And I think another problem is,

that I am afriad ...

I am afraid to trust someone soo much

and deeply love him ...

that I would marry him ...

I think its part of my nature, that I will always doubt something and someone ...

I am almost 21 years old ...

and dont think I am a woman now, and a girl neither ...

but If I may someday be in this situation,

when I really think I am mature enough for such a big decision

and when I found the right guy, 

the one I really love from deep of my heart

I maybe want a dress that looks like one of those or something in this direction

The only thing I know is that I want compose my wedding cake ...

and it should look like this in some way ...

and that I dont want roses ...

I want lilies

And it should have some polish traditions ;)

But who knew ...

maybe I will marry someday ...

but I really doubt it!

_________________

jeez today was a horrbile day ...

everthing went wrong ...

but tomorrow is another day ...

lets what it will bring ...

but thats for now ...

chilaxing and going for a run later ;)

Hope you all have/had a great day!

X,

Nicky